MY PAST STORY
“I’ve come to realize that describing the endless dark details of what happened in my broken family never even comes close to conveying the full gravity of the situation. For that reason, I will simply say that being homeless on the streets offered more comfort and wisdom to me as a fifteen-year-old than my mom or stepdad were capable of or willing to provide. Furthermore, I knew in my soul that, if I stayed, I was going to duplicate that demented cycle and pass it on to my future family. If I wanted something truly great for myself and them, I knew I would have to be willing to let go of who I was going to be and seek out who I was meant to be." - The Marriage Cipher Key
That decision to leave my childhood home was responsible for many highs and lows in my life. It created the fuel that burned in my motor pushing me through some very dark and trying times. The same fuel that also catapulted me to my successes in life.
THE CATALYST FOR CHANGE
In my youth, with nothing to lose, it was easy to be dismissive about death and the finality of it all. I would say youthful things such as, “If I’m going to hell, at least I’m enjoying the ride.” And I lived by the creed: live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse.
Even with that “live in the moment” kind of thinking, by the time I was in my 30’s, I'd accumulated all the medals my younger self saw as proof of having a successful family and business life. Notably, a beautiful loving wife and children, a million-dollar high-rise condo atop a Hilton Hotel, multiple businesses, and a Lamborghini Murcielago fast enough to outrun death itself. When you're living like that, it's hard to believe it will ever end. The shine of it all makes it tough to see how it all could ever be used to forge the golden handcuffs that might ultimately imprison you.
As is often the case, a series of unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you look at it) events brought me to my knees and delivered insight I didn't know I needed. I was in my 40’s, during the time I should have been financially peeking when several life-altering experiences forced me to realize I was NOT invincible. Events that clearly proved to me that I too, would eventually succumb to father time's inevitable invitation to the big party in the sky. Seeing at a moment’s notice it can all fade to black made it impossible for me to continue running down the same path. One by one, I was forced to unpack the weights I'd accumulated in my life's backpack until all I had was the bare necessities—my wife and kids. To make any kind of comeback would require me installing an update to my thinking, but I wasn't sure of exactly what that update should be.
While I searched for it, the tick-tock sound of time grew louder and became all I could think about. I was constantly asking myself what was the best way to spend my last minutes. Every second lived without knowing the answer to that question felt like I was allowing myself to be robbed. Not robbed of money but something more valuable, time. Worse yet, I had no way of knowing what the true balance of my minutes was in my future's bank account or when they would run out. Not knowing what the exact balance was, consumed my every thought. I kept asking myself, what will exist in place of my body after my number was up? How will my family remember me? Do I want my legacy to just be my money and possessions? One thing was for sure, I knew I wanted to spend my remaining time doing something I'm good at, that actually mattered. That’s when I came up with my company’s purpose. That is: to create artifacts that would positively influence the entire world and have long-lasting global effects. All I had to do now was to come up with a way to accomplish that.
MY PRESENT STORY
It would be nice to say what I came up with was something cooler, like racing cars or climbing Everest but it wouldn’t have been true. The reality was all I could come up with that fit all of those qualifications along with being able to accomplish my company’s goal, was my awesome marriage. Not perfect, just awesome. Tried, true, and tested on the battlefield, to be one of the best that ever was.
That’s when I decided to focus my intentions on helping people have a ‘til-death-do-us-part marriage. Specifically, equally empowering the two people directly involved in a marriage with knowledge and tools both could use to maximize the benefits of their marital experience. By concentrating my efforts there, I knew I could accomplish my goal because marriage is the genesis of all our futures. Let me explain…
The future can only be changed by the actions and beliefs of today. Following that logic, if I wanted to influence today, I'd have to somehow be able to change the actions and beliefs of the past. Without a time machine that's simply just not possible and left me with but one option if I wanted to influence people at the earliest possible moment in their life (birth).
As I saw it, I'd have to make an impact on the marriages of the future in order to be able to influence the children of tomorrow. If I could do that, I believed that I could eventually change the trajectory of the entire world including all its inhabitants’ futures, for many generations to come.
So, there you have it. That’s who I am now. A person focused on what I think really matters. That is, helping people have a ‘til-death-do-us-part marriage.
MY VALUE TO YOU
Due to the path my life has taken, I hope to be uniquely valuable to you and your marriage by offering my experience and wisdom gained from not only my certification in coaching but also my PhD. A degree I earned from one of the world’s most esteemed academic institutions, “The School of Hard Knocks.” To get that honor, I've walked in the shoes of my own advice and it's given me major breakthroughs in my own life. From my early youth until now, I’ve had experiences that have given me a very unique perspective on life, success, purpose, and happiness. And along with it, the tools needed to achieve those at a high level.
Not only in my own life but in others' lives as well, I have broken through the walls of homelessness, addiction, divorce, death and loss of immediate family members, total loss of direction and purpose in life, and the loss of businesses to name a few. Those walls have been replaced with successes such as my current marriage of 20 years, my children, being a top sales producer for two worldwide companies, raising millions of dollars from investors to build businesses, feeling a true purpose to guide my life and so much more.
Are you standing in front of what looks to be an insurmountable wall in your marriage where divorce seems to be the only option? Have you tried to get past your differences many times before, yet life just keeps bringing you back to the same place, over and over again? Do you want and need a breakthrough, now and NOT later? If you don’t need a pep talk, and you need clear results and tools that you can use to break through and keep breaking through, I can help.
I truly believe that sharing the wisdom I learned along with the strategies that were used to ultimately prevail in my own marriage, is my true purpose. Please, allow me to teach you how to decrypt your spouse, so they’ll willingly give you everything you have always wanted from them….Under any circumstance. Without exception. Every time.